In the US, divorce happens every 13 seconds, which makes it over 270 divorces an hour and more than 6,500 per day. For clarity, around 15 couples will have divorced by the time you finish drinking your morning coffee.
Based on statistics from onlinedivorcetexas.com, every American has or at least knows someone divorcing or divorced. You’re likely to have a friend or a family member who’s ending their marriage at this very minute too. And no matter how good and supportive a friend you want to be, sometimes you just lack words (or understanding of what a person really feels) to ease their pain.
What to say to someone getting a divorce? Do you have to be around 24/7 to hear them out? Is it a good idea to remind you of divorce at all? All of these questions may cause a lot of confusion. Especially, if you’ve never had a divorce yourself. But it doesn’t mean you can’t be a good friend.
What to say to a friend who is getting divorced? What message can cheer them up? And most importantly, what comments should you avoid by all means? About this, read in our article.
What to Say to Someone Getting A Divorce?
Divorce can be an extremely painful experience. But the burden is always easier when there are friends and family around ready to support you. Unfortunately, we don’t always know what kind of support a person needs. And a banal “Don’t worry, time heals” may cause a huge burst of negative emotions.
Helping a friend through a divorce won’t be easy. But if you stick to these rules, you can overcome it together.
- Stay close. Whether you’re the initiator or the responding party, divorce always has a negative impact. Insecurity, lack of confidence, and feeling lost are just a few things a divorcer may suffer from. As a friend, you need to show that you’re here for them. That your friend’s new family status won’t change the way you feel about them. A simple asking about how they’re doing or offering to go out may even make their day.
- Show your empathy. We can play the guessing game, but we never know for sure what people think of us or about what we do. The head of a recently divorced person may be full of wrong guessing. Tell them you’re on their side. Say you’re sorry for what happened. Perhaps, that you’re proud of how well they’re holding on. After all, knowing that you’re loved can help you move a mountain.
- Offer help when it’s needed. No secret that a hard divorce can kick you out of your normal routine for days, if not weeks, let alone months. Kids are untaken care of, dishes unwashed, and bills unpaid. It would be great if you could take this responsibility on yourself as a friend. Offer to look after the kids while your BFF is solving their divorce issues. Or do the housework to give them time to cry it out. This will mean a lot!
- Be ready to hear them out. We all want to be listened to and to be heard. After divorce, it can be especially important. “Do you want to vent?” There are just 5 simple words but they can be so meaningful!
Top List of Texts to Send a Friend Struggling with a Divorce
No matter how bad we want to be around all the time, life makes its amendments. If you’re far from your friend, a warm and kind message can show your love and care. Here are our top 10 texts to support your divorced friend:
- How are you these days?
- I am sorry you had to go through this.
- Know that I am here for you.
- I am always ready to hear you out. Call me if you need to talk.
- Do you feel like going out? I’m buying.
- I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. But you can always count on me!
- If you need anything, just let me know.
- I love you, dear! We’ll get through this together.
- Take your time. I’ll back you up with…
- Just know that I always love you!
What Should You Never Say to a Divorced Friend?
But sometimes, our so-called support can do more harm than good. Trying to cheer up a friend we can be ignorant, callous, and eager to return a person to their initial emotional state rather than show our true support.
Thus, “take it easy”, “don’t worry”, “let it go” or anything similar is not the best advice for someone going through a divorce. Breaking up is always painful, and saying such things can only prove your lack of empathy.
The same goes for “time heals”. We all know that it gets easier after a while. But there’s now, and now your divorced friend wants to feel they’re not alone. That even when they’re broken and messed up, they still have someone to love them.
Here are a few other things you should never say to a divorced friend:
- I always knew you didn’t fit for each other.
- I told you!
- Have you tried marriage counseling?
- It’s not the end of the world!
- People have bigger problems.
- You need to start a new relationship.
- Why didn’t you file for divorce online? You could save a fortune!
And the worst in this list is “I know what you feel! When I got divorced…”. A friend’s grief and misery is not the time to vent about how you felt in similar circumstances. Even if you think that your experience may be helpful, give your friend a chance to ask for your opinion. Mistakenly, you may believe that you know what others feel since you were in a similar situation. But rather than teaching a friend post-divorce living, just be kind, loving, and supportive.